If a woman refuses to marry after promising to, it is natural to feel hurt, humiliated, and perhaps even cheated, especially if your families had already planned the wedding or you spent money on engagement ceremonies and gifts. Let me give you a clear and honest answer at the outset. In most situations, a simple refusal to marry is not a crime, and you cannot file a criminal case merely because a promise of marriage was broken. However, if the promise was part of a deliberate fraud to obtain money or property, or if she is now threatening or defaming you, criminal remedies may be available. Civil remedies for recovering money and claiming damages are also open to you.

Let me begin with the most important principle. Indian law treats the decision to marry as a deeply personal choice protected by the Constitution. In Shafin Jahan v. Asokan K.M. (2018), the Supreme Court held that the right to marry a person of one's choice is an integral part of Article 21. The same freedom includes the right not to marry someone, even after an engagement or a promise. A person can change their mind about marriage at any time before it takes place, and the law will not force anyone into marriage.

The legal framework has changed recently, so let me explain it briefly. Since 1 July 2024, the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023 (BNS) has replaced the Indian Penal Code, and the Bharatiya Nagarik Suraksha Sanhita, 2023 (BNSS) has replaced the Code of Criminal Procedure. Breach of a promise to marry can engage three areas of law: criminal law under the BNS, contract law under the Indian Contract Act, 1872, and civil remedies under the Specific Relief Act, 1963. Which one applies depends entirely on your facts.

Many people ask about Section 69 of the BNS, which deals with sexual intercourse obtained by deceitful means, including a false promise to marry. This provision was introduced to protect women who are deceived into sexual relationships through false promises of marriage. By its wording, it addresses a promise to marry made to a woman and sexual intercourse with her. In its plain terms, it is not a remedy available to a man against a woman who refuses to marry him.

Similarly, rape under Section 63 of the BNS is defined as an act committed by a man against a woman. Section 81 of the BNS (formerly Section 493 IPC), which punishes a man who deceitfully induces a woman to believe she is lawfully married to him, is also gender-specific. So even if you were in a physical relationship with the woman before she refused to marry, these sexual offence provisions do not give you a criminal remedy against her.

It is useful to understand how courts approach false promise of marriage cases generally, because the same logic applies to any cheating claim you might bring. In Deepak Gulati v. State of Haryana (2013), Pramod Suryabhan Pawar v. State of Maharashtra (2019), and Naim Ahamed v. State (NCT of Delhi) (2023), the Supreme Court distinguished between a false promise made in bad faith from the very beginning and a genuine promise that later could not be fulfilled. Only the first kind, where there was no intention to marry from the outset, can amount to deception. A promise that simply breaks down due to changed feelings or circumstances is not a criminal act.

Now let us consider when a criminal case may genuinely be possible. The main provision is cheating under Section 318 of the BNS, which replaces Sections 415 to 420 of the IPC. Cheating means deceiving a person and thereby fraudulently or dishonestly inducing them to deliver property or to do something they would not otherwise do, causing them harm. Where the deception induces delivery of property, the punishment can extend to seven years along with a fine.

For cheating to be made out, the dishonest intention must exist at the time of the promise. In Hridaya Ranjan Prasad Verma v. State of Bihar (2000), the Supreme Court held that a mere failure to keep a promise does not amount to cheating unless fraudulent or dishonest intention existed right from the beginning. So if the woman genuinely intended to marry you when she promised, and later changed her mind, there is no cheating, even if you spent money in the meantime.

A cheating case may be possible if there is clear evidence that the promise was a tool for obtaining money or property. For example, there have been cases where a person repeatedly took money, jewellery, or expensive gifts on the pretext of wedding expenses, with no intention of marrying, and then disappeared. Organised "marriage fraud" schemes, where a bride or her associates take money or valuables and vanish shortly before or after the wedding, are another example. In such cases, cheating under Section 318 and criminal conspiracy under Section 61 of the BNS may be alleged.

Other offences may also apply in fraud cases. If valuables were entrusted to her for a specific purpose and she misappropriated them, criminal breach of trust under Section 316 of the BNS (formerly Section 406 IPC) may apply. If she or her associates used a fake identity, cheating by personation under Section 319 of the BNS and Section 66D of the Information Technology Act, 2000 may be relevant, especially in online matrimonial frauds. If she concealed an existing marriage, bigamy under Section 82 of the BNS (formerly Sections 494 and 495 IPC) may arise, although cognizance requires a complaint by the aggrieved person under Section 219 of the BNSS.

Courts are careful, however, not to allow criminal law to be used for what are essentially civil disputes. In Indian Oil Corporation v. NEPC India Ltd. (2006) and Vesa Holdings Pvt. Ltd. v. State of Kerala (2015), the Supreme Court warned against converting civil disputes into criminal cases to put pressure on the other side. If your complaint is essentially that she changed her mind and you want your money back, a court may treat it as a civil matter and refuse to entertain a criminal case.

Criminal remedies also become relevant if the woman or her family are behaving unlawfully after the breakup. If she is threatening to file false complaints against you unless you pay money, that may amount to extortion under Section 308 of the BNS. If she or her family threaten to harm you, criminal intimidation under Section 351 applies. If she is spreading false and damaging stories about you to friends, colleagues, or on social media, defamation under Section 356 of the BNS (formerly Sections 499 and 500 IPC) may apply, which requires a complaint by the person defamed under Section 222 of the BNSS.

The line between a painful personal disappointment and a genuine legal claim can be difficult to judge when emotions are running high. To understand exactly where your situation falls, you can speak with the team at Aapka Legal Advice, who can review your messages, payments, and documents and tell you honestly whether a civil or criminal route is viable. If the matter involves fraud, threats, or a false complaint against you, experienced Top Criminal Lawyers in India | Aapka Legal Advice can guide you through the process. You can also seek an independent view from our panel of retired judges (available for case evaluation and strategy discussions), who work closely with our criminal lawyers to assess whether your facts justify court action.

Now let us look at civil remedies, which are often the most practical route. Under Indian law, an agreement to marry can be treated as a contract under the Indian Contract Act, 1872. If one party breaks the agreement without a lawful excuse, the other party may claim compensation for loss caused by the breach under Section 73 of the Act. Courts have, in suitable cases, awarded damages for actual expenses incurred on engagement ceremonies, wedding arrangements, and similar costs.

You cannot, however, force the woman to marry you. A contract to marry depends on personal choice and personal relationships, and under Section 14 of the Specific Relief Act, 1963, such contracts cannot be specifically enforced. The only remedy for breach is compensation, never a court order compelling marriage. Any attempt to pressure her into marriage could itself expose you to criminal liability.

Recovering money and gifts is often the main concern. If you gave money, jewellery, or valuable gifts specifically in contemplation of marriage, and the marriage did not take place, you may be able to recover them. Section 65 of the Indian Contract Act provides that when an agreement becomes void, any person who received an advantage under it must restore it. Section 70 also allows recovery where a person lawfully does something for another, not intending to do so gratuitously, and the other enjoys the benefit.

Courts generally distinguish between gifts made unconditionally and gifts made specifically because of the expected marriage. Engagement rings and wedding jewellery are often treated as conditional on the marriage taking place. Ordinary birthday or festival gifts given during the relationship are usually treated as absolute gifts and may not be recoverable. Your documents, messages, and bank records will be crucial in proving the purpose of each payment.

A word of caution about money given to the bride's family. Under Section 3 of the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, both giving and taking dowry are punishable. If money was exchanged as a condition of the marriage, claiming it back can raise difficult legal questions, and both sides may face scrutiny. Take legal advice before making such a claim, and ensure that you describe each payment accurately.

To pursue civil remedies, you would usually file a suit for recovery of money and damages before the appropriate civil court. Where you have clear written evidence of a debt, such as a written acknowledgment, a summary suit under Order XXXVII of the Code of Civil Procedure, 1908 may be possible. Civil suits must be filed within the limitation periods under the Limitation Act, 1963, generally three years for suits for compensation for breach of contract under Article 55. Do not delay if you intend to sue.

Before going to court, consider mediation or a negotiated settlement. Many such disputes are resolved through a legal notice followed by discussions between families or lawyers. A carefully drafted legal notice setting out your claim for return of specific gifts and expenses often leads to a settlement without litigation. Pre-litigation mediation is also available through Legal Services Authorities under the Legal Services Authorities Act, 1987.

Now let me address a situation that sometimes follows a broken engagement: a complaint against the man. If you were in a physical relationship, the woman may in some cases allege that you made a false promise to marry her, invoking Section 69 of the BNS. If you face such a complaint, remember that courts look at whether the relationship was consensual and whether any promise was false from the outset. Where she herself refused to marry, that fact will be highly relevant to your defence.

If a complaint is filed or threatened against you, you can seek anticipatory bail under Section 482 of the BNSS (formerly Section 438 CrPC). Messages and evidence showing that she refused the marriage, or that the relationship was mutual and consensual, can be important at this stage. If the complaint is plainly false or legally unsustainable, you may approach the High Court for quashing under Section 528 of the BNSS (formerly Section 482 CrPC) or Article 226. The principles in State of Haryana v. Bhajan Lal (1992) guide such petitions.

Your constitutional rights apply throughout. Article 21 protects your personal liberty and right to a fair trial, Article 22 guarantees your rights on arrest, and Article 20(3) protects you against compelled self-incrimination. Under Section 35 of the BNSS and the Supreme Court's ruling in Arnesh Kumar v. State of Bihar (2014), arrests for offences punishable with up to seven years should not be automatic. Always consult a lawyer before giving any statement.

There are also important things you must not do, even if you feel deeply wronged. Do not repeatedly call, message, or follow the woman after she has clearly said no, because that can amount to stalking under Section 78 of the BNS. Do not threaten her or her family, because that is criminal intimidation under Section 351. Do not post private photos, chats, or allegations online, because that can lead to charges under Section 77 of the BNS, Section 66E or 67 of the IT Act, and defamation under Section 356. Let lawyers handle every communication.

Preserve your evidence carefully. Keep copies of messages and emails showing the promise of marriage, the engagement, and any requests for money. Gather receipts, bank statements, UPI records, and invoices for expenses incurred. If there were witnesses to the engagement ceremony or to discussions between families, note their names. Electronic evidence must be supported by a certificate under Section 63 of the Bharatiya Sakshya Adhiniyam, 2023 (formerly Section 65B of the Evidence Act), as held in Arjun Panditrao Khotkar v. Kailash Kushanrao Gorantyal (2020).

If you believe you were the victim of an organised marriage fraud, report it promptly. File a complaint at your local police station, or through the National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal at cybercrime.gov.in if the fraud happened online, such as through a matrimonial website. If money was transferred online, call the helpline 1930 immediately to try to freeze the funds. Under Section 173 of the BNSS and Lalita Kumari v. Government of Uttar Pradesh (2014), the police must register an FIR if a cognizable offence like cheating is disclosed.

If the police refuse to act on a genuine fraud complaint, you can escalate. Send your complaint in writing to the Superintendent of Police under Section 173(4) of the BNSS. If that fails, approach the Judicial Magistrate under Section 175(3) of the BNSS, with an application supported by an affidavit, seeking a direction to register and investigate. You may also file a private complaint before the Magistrate under Section 223 of the BNSS.

If you were falsely accused after the breakup and later cleared, further recourse may be available. You may consider a complaint for false information to a public servant under Section 217 of the BNS, false charge of an offence under Section 248, and defamation under Section 356. A civil suit for malicious prosecution may also be possible. Prosecution for false charges usually requires a complaint by the court under Section 215 read with Section 379 of the BNSS, and such steps are best taken after your case ends in your favour.

Finally, take care of yourself emotionally. A broken engagement can be painful and socially difficult, especially when families and communities are involved. Talking to trusted friends, family, or a counsellor can help you process the disappointment and make clear decisions. Acting from calm judgment rather than anger will also protect you legally.

Let me summarise the position. A woman's refusal to marry, by itself, is not a criminal offence, because the law protects every person's freedom to choose whether to marry. Sexual offence provisions such as Section 69 of the BNS are designed to protect women and are not available to men in this situation. A criminal case may be possible only where there was clear fraud, such as cheating under Section 318, criminal breach of trust under Section 316, or extortion and threats after the breakup. Civil remedies for damages and recovery of gifts are often the most practical route.

In conclusion, if a woman refuses to marry after promising to, the law generally treats it as a personal decision rather than a crime. Your strongest options usually lie in civil remedies for recovering money and expenses, with criminal action reserved for genuine fraud, threats, or defamation. Preserve your evidence, avoid any contact that could be seen as harassment, and take confidential legal advice before acting. When someone refuses to marry after promising, careful legal guidance helps you protect your interests without exposing yourself to unnecessary risk.